How to Stop Manspreading


1. Tell manspreader his fly is open.
2. Spread ones’ own legs and make awkward skin contact until manspreader retreats. Stay strong.
3. Tap manspreader’s leg and say “Sit like a lady” in best grandma-voice. (Channel your best impersonation of Betty White or Bette Midler, both will work.)
4. Stare at manspreader’s spread man legs. Intently. No blinking. Think death glare straight to his man parts.
5. Take out your phone and watch the most recent news clip about this infuriating pandemic on high volume for all transit passengers to hear.

Personally, I think we have more things in this world to worry about rather than some stranger manspreading for 2 extra inches on BART… But that might just be me.

Teach your son’s to be gentleman. Show them how to offer their seats to women, children, the elderly, and handicapped. That’s more important than making the news or coining a new urban dictionary term. Just saying.

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